My Love Affair is Over

That's it!!! I can't take this any more. The whining. The hiding things behind my back. The constant voracious appetite. That's right, we're through.

I have been going a little crazy lately, thinking that I must be losing my mind. Every time I do laundry, it seems I can never find complete pairs of Kinsey's socks. I always think maybe they are hiding at the bottom of the laundry basket. But after every load, there seems to be more single socks than before. I never suspected that the love of my life, my washing machine, was actually eating them! Well, I think it's more accurate to say it was storing them in its little hamster pouch for consumption later. Look what I took out of it's clutches this morning:

Now, any mother of a baby will tell you, that's a lot of baby socks. But it wasn't just stealing them. It was breaking them down in its own gastric juices for later consumption. Leaving them looking way different than their non-consumed counterparts. Look at exhibit B:

The socks on the left are the ones that have been left lonely and partnerless for the last few months. The socks on the right were the ones ruthlessly abducted by our Whirlpool Devil Spawn washing machine. Note how discoloured and malnourished they look?

Now, in exhibit C you will see the mouth of the greedy bugger. If you look closely you will see there is a lot more space for more consumption.

Now exhibit D shows us a picture of our suspect. If you see it, do not approach it. It will, I repeat WILL eat your socks!!! It answers to the name of "Whirlpool Devil Spawn". Simply note it's location and keep your socks and underwear locked up tightly.